If I Ain't Got You
by Janis 70
Summary: All Human. Angel is living a double life that puts his marriage to Buffy Summers in jeopardy. Will he give up the life that he always knew and thrived in, for love? Or will he let her walk away? Buffy/Angel
1. Chapter 1

**New York City, New York**

 **Morissette & Phair LLC**

 **2005**

Sitting in silence across from one another, Liam O'Connor's brown, hard eyes never left his wife's face as he listened to the lawyers argue about settlements and the custody of their four year old son, Liam "Connor" O'Connor Jr.

Liam or 'Angel', is what his wife calls him is known for being a ruthless man. His striking sinister good looks had women topple over with lust and men fall to their knees in fear. A graduate from Harvard Law, Liam was known throughout cities of America as the Scourge of Ireland-America but not for being a powerful lawyer, no, if was for being the Irish-American mafia leader in New York City.

Where ever he went, the people parted for him like the Red Sea. He took tedious time to form good relationships with the NYPD and other law enforcements across the country furthermore securing his status in a world of power, death, and organised crime.

Liam sat back in the large black chair folding his hands together and watched his wife. She was the only woman to ever capture his heart. Everytime he looked at her, she took his breath away. For him, it was love at first sight. The way the yellow sun haloed around her blonde head and the bright smile that painted on her face. He closed his eyes envisioning the day he first saw her. Liam knew without a single ounce of a doubt, he needed this woman in his life. She was the light that illuminated his dark world. She was his everything.

 **Sunnydale, California**

 **Expresso Pump**

 **2000**

Buffy Summers sat at a tall table with her best friend Willow Rosenburg. They had met in high school when Buffy and her mother and little sister moved into the small town of Sunnydale her sophomore year. Buffy and Willow instantly hit it off but not without a price.

Willow was horribly unpopular in high school and Buffy felt a strange sense of empathy for the girl. She decided to befriend her despite the various warnings of social deprivation from the 'in' crowd.

Since then, Buffy and Willow were inseparable. They had gone to the same college together and been through every major life event together which included Xander Harris, too. Xander and Willow were childhood friends and welcomed Buffy into their small, two-man circle with open arms.

* * *

The semi-outdoor coffee shop was crowded with college students and some new faces. As perusal to the Southern California life, the sky was bright and cloudless and the temperature was comfortably warm.

"I mean, I'm not like a full fledge witch, that takes years." Willow said as she stirred her drink. Willow had recently joined a coven group that practiced pagan rituals and spells. "I just did a couple of pagan blessings and teeny glamour to hide a zit."

As the supportive best friend, Buffy never questions her friends interests when it came to witchcraft for her recent experimentation with the same sex. Or to be specific, one girl named Tara who she had met in Wicca Group.

"It doesn't scare you?"

"It has." Willow shrugged. "I tried to communicate with the spirit world and I so wasn't ready for that. It was like being pulled apart inside. Plus, I blew the power for the whole neighbourhood. Big scare."

Buffy sighed resting her chin in her palm, "Oh, I wish I could'a been there with you."

"I really freaked out but it was no big. You were on a date." Willow smiled running her eyes over the blondes face. "And how was that date with our handsome U.S history teacher?"

Buffy shrugged, "It was good. Fun. Easy. I don't know after that whole debacle with Parker in college I'm just happy that Riley is well…"

"Not Parker?"

"Right." Buffy lifted her eyes to Willow's face. "I don't think Riley would hurt me like the way Parker did."

"He's too nice."

Buffy nodded her head. "Right. He's also the type to call his mother every Sunday."

"See? That's not the cheating type!" Willow said with much needed enthusiasm.

Buffy raised a brow suspiciously, "You're loving this moral superiority thing."

Willow sipped her mocha, "It's like a drug."

"Fine. I can take my lumps. For a while. I can have a stable whatever with a normal-Sunday-calling man."

Willow grinned, "See, you're growing."

The two friends shared a laugh.

From across the coffee shop, Liam turned hearing a breathy, wholehearted laugh. He scowled and held up his hand muting his right hand man searching for the heavenly sounding laugh. Then he saw her.

His eyes latched onto a beautiful young woman, presumably in her mid-twenties he guessed. Her chin was in her hand as she grinned looking at a redheaded woman sitting across from her sharing a piece of chocolate dessert cake. Her green eyes twinkled as she laughed at whatever was being said. Her blonde hair was pulled back into one of those french twists that showed off her perfect face and soft skinned neck. She was by far the most gorgeous creature his eyes ever beheld and he wanted her.

"Boss?" Lindsey McDonald, Liam's right hand looked at him with confusion then followed his stare across the shop spotting the beautiful woman.

Liam did not respond. He stood up from his chair and moved around the crowd gracefully until he stopped standing at the friends tall table.

Their conversation came to a screeching halt when Buffy's eyes moved to Liam's handsome dark featured face. Her eyes locked with his dark brown was memorised by them.

Liam's hard expression softened into a slight smile tugged on slanted lips, "Hi."

It took a moment for Buffy to register that he was addressing her and only her. "H-hi." She said nervously.

Her voice was better than he imagined. It was breathy with a gentle lisp that made his heart pound in his chest. "I'd offer to buy you a coffee but I see you already have one."

Buffy's hands clenched around the cup unable to think straight she said, "I have cake too." she mentally slapped herself.

"I see that." Liam smirked.

Willow watched the adorable display of nerves with amusement.

"I just… wanted to come over and say 'hi'." Liam said lamely. "I hope to see you again." He gave her a charming smile that melted her insides. Liam slowly turned around and headed back to his men waiting for him in the background.

Buffy ran her eyes down his broad shoulders. Even though he wore a fine black suit, she knew he had a body that put Greek Gods to shame. Her eyes lingered on his round bottom and her mouth went dry. "Oh, boy…"

Willow snorted a laugh seeing the oozing expression on her friends face and could no longer contain her laugh. "I have cake too?" Willow teased.

Buffy shot her a glare. "Well, you think of something cool and sexy to say to **that**!" She gestured her hand out to the mysterious man that charmed her into verbal-un-word-forming-ness.

Willow laughed at her, "You're in trouble."

 **New York City, New York**

 **Morissette & Phair LLC**

 **2005**

Buffy lifted her eyes from the documents in front of her to her husband's face. She now resented the way his hypnotising eyes bore into her seeing her very soul. She avoided his face and looked at her lawyer.

"Elisabeth says, she did not bring any assets into the marriage." The lawyer looked at his rival across the table.

"Then we'll split everything, stocks, bonds, 401K's down the middle."

"No." Liam spoke up. "Not down the middle."

Buffy nodded her head in agreement much to everyone's surprise. "He can keep his drug money."

"Oh, please, Buffy, you know it's not drug money." Liam rolled his eyes.

"Fine. You can keep your blood money." Liam glared at her. "He can also keep the mansion in Manhattan, the apartment in Los Angeles. Keep it all. All I want is my son." Buffy shot back at her soon to be ex-husband.

"You want full custody, Mrs. O'Connor?" Her lawyer asked.

Buffy looked at him, "Of course I do. I don't want **my** son near your illegal lifestyle of blood and crime. You know Connor deserves a better life than that."

Liam rolled his eyes, "Oh, please, Buffy, you know Connor would have the best possible life with me. In fact, **you** would have the best life with me. I control everything that goes on in this godforsaken city. You're safe."

"No. I want out and I want our son out too. He's not the heir to your mafia."

Liam glared at her with anger in his eyes that would make any man falter and beg for mercy except for his wife. She was as stubborn as him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sunnydale, California**

 **The Bronze**

 **2000**

Buffy stood from the table she and her friends sat at and went to the bar. She moved around the crowd standing dancing to the sexy rock song filling the dark lit club. Buffy leaned over the counter getting the bartender's attention with a glowing smile.

The bartender looked up at her and held up a finger as he finished with another costumer.

"So beautiful…"

Buffy froze recognising the velvet deep voice that whispered into her ear. She turned to the handsome man from the coffee house. "What is?"

"Well, you of course." Liam smiled. "Hi again."

"Hi." Buffy thanked the Gods that the club was dark and the extremely gorgeous man could not see her embarrassing blush.

Liam smirked seeing her redden cheeks. He found it adorable. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Buffy never tore her eyes from his face and she nodded her head.

Liam smirked and moved around her and gestured for the bartender with the snap of his wrist the bartender walked away from a costumer without a word. "Scotch, no ice and a red sangria."

Buffy ran her eyes down the smooth, tan skin of his face to his muscular chest and wanted nothing more than to lick her tongue down his neck tasting his skin.

"Here you go." Liam held out a red sangria for her to take.

Buffy smiled taking it graciously.

"Feel free to order as many as you want. They're on me as well as the drinks for your table."

"Thank you." She looked at him with surprise. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know. But I wanted to. Plus," He shifted a little closer to her. "I was kinda hoping it would earn me a dance with you."

Buffy's smile grew bigger as he took the drink from her hand and set it down on the bar counter and slipped her hand into his own fitting perfectly. Liam led her onto the dance floor and wrapped his arm around her waist holding her close into his body.

Luckily, the song that played was slow and sexy which made Liam very pleased because the beautiful woman in his arms swayed her hips slowly to the rhythm of the music. Buffy raised her arms over her head captivating Liam. His clenched his jaw trying to control himself as she turned in his arms softly touching her bottom feeling his arousal. Buffy closed her eyes when his hot breath bathed over her bare shoulder and his lips nipped the skin of her neck. Liam held her tighter in his arms never wanting to break free from her.

"I still don't know you're name." Liam whispered into her ear.

Buffy turned her head looking up at him. "Buffy."

Liam's brows furrowed slightly at the strange name. "Buffy?"

"It's a nickname. Elisabeth really but… when I was little my Mom called me Buffy and it stuck."

Liam thought about her strange nickname for a moment and smirked, "I like it." he took her hand and spun her around.

Buffy laughed and stepped back into his arms resting her hands on his muscular chest. "What's your name?"

"Whatever you want it to be."

Buffy raised a brow with a smile searching his face quizzically for a moment then said, "Angel."

"Angel? I've certainly never been called an angel before."

"I think it's fitting. The one with the angelic face."

A slow smile twitched in the corners of Angel's mouth as he looked down at her. He raised his hand and cupped her face, "Would I be out of line if I kissed you right now?"

"What are you waiting for?"

Angel chuckled and bent his head down brushing his mouth against hers in a slow and tender kiss. Buffy slid her hand up his shoulder to his face threading her fingers into his brown soft hair and scraped her manicured fingernails along his neck.

The kiss ended as fast as it began. Angel broke away and rested his forehead against hers feeling her warm breath against his face. He opened his eyes to see her staring right back at him and the two shared a smile.

 **New York City, New York**

 **Morissette & Phair LLC**

 **2005**

Liam paced back and forth thoroughly annoyed at his beautiful wife. Usually, he found it charming and amazing that she was one the only person in his life that never caved under his death glare. In fact, she gave it right back completely unintimidated by him. She challenged him harder than any enemy of his which is why all of this was so much harder.

Deep down, somewhere inside of him, he knew Buffy had the power to win. She would take their son away from him and he'll never see either of them again. More than anything, Liam wanted to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness and promise her that he'll walk out of this life and they can be together forever like he had always planned.

But too much had happened. There was too much blood staining his hands. He was warned repeatedly that this woman was the Helen of Troy, his Achilles Heel.

Liam turned her head looking at her, memorised by her beauty. He loved her eyes. He could read her like a book by just looking into those bright green eyes. And what they told him was that all of this was tearing her apart. Even though she was too proud to say it. It pleased him to know that she still loved him even through all of this but it was not enough. Love was not enough for her anymore.

 **Sunnydale, California**

 **The Bronze**

 **2000**

Sitting alone in the back dark corner of the club where the loud music was slightly muffled. Buffy sat under Angel's arm unable to look away from his face laughing at his story.

"So Buffy of Sunnydale, what's your story?"

"My story?"

Angel shrugged, "What do you do for a living? What are your hopes and dreams? How long have you been in California?"

Buffy sat up taking in his never ending questions and smile sipping her third sangria. "Um… well I've been in Sunnydale for about…" She counted in her head quickly by couldn't concentrate feeling the sangrias in her system. "Since high school." She kept it simple. "Me, my Mom and sister moved here when I was a sophomore. I went to college at U.C Sunnydale as an English-Education major."

"You're a teacher?"

Buffy nodded her head, "Senior English."

Angel smiled loving that tidbit. She must have all of the high school boys drooling in their seats. Apart of him found it quite amusing and the other part of him wanted to rip those boys apart by their horny teenybopper dicks. The mere thought of another man looking at his woman set him off into a rage.

"What do you do?" She asked.

"I'm a business man." Angel answered vaguely.

Buffy crossed her legs giving him an eyeful of her smooth, tanned legs. "What kind of business man?"

Angel ran a hand up her leg, inching his fingers up under her knee-length dress and smiled leaning closer to her. "The dangerous kind."

"You're not from California are you?"

"No." Angel shook his head. "I'm not. Originally from Galway, Ireland. My family moved to New York City when I was six. I come from a very large and powerful family."

"Oh, you do? Don't tell me you're some kind of Irish mafia man." Buffy smiled at her joke.

Angel did not respond shutting her up by kissing her mouth. His tongue snuck between her lips and massaged her tongue with his own slowly savouring every moment of it.

"Mmm…" Buffy moaned against his mouth. "What were we talking about?"

"Nothing important." Angel closed the small space between them again and crushed her mouth against his own. His fingers tangled into her hair feeling the softness of her long curled strands. He deepened the kiss wanting her desperately.

Buffy's hand slid from his clean-shaven face, down his neck to his chest pushing him off of her gently needing to catch her breath. "Are - are you here for business?" She asked needing something to distract herself from his perfect mouth.

Angel understood what she was doing and nodded his head, "Yeah. I am."

Unbeknownst to Buffy, Angel had sent his men down into the basement of the club to torture an enemy for information about their latest rival. That was his reason for coming the small quiet town. He needed information and eliminate the rat that's been playing a double agent for his clan and the FBI.

"How long are you here for? I mean… how long are you staying in Sunnydale before you back to New York?"

Angel's hand smooth down her arm taking her hand. He raised it up and kissed her knuckles. "Until Monday." His pressed his mouth against her fingers.

"It's Thursday. Monday's not that far away."

"I know. I wish I had more time."

Buffy scooted closer to him hooking her arms around his neck and leaned forward taking his mouth. "Then we better make these few days last."

Angel grinned and wrapped his hands around her slim, tight body and pulled her onto his lap holding her tightly into his body.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sunnydale, California**

 **Sunnydale High B-214 Classroom**

 **2000**

Buffy stood at the front of the room turning from the chalkboard with the Shakespeare book in her hand. "Jealously, is clearly the tool Iago used to undo Othello." Buffy began pacing back and forth as she explained the text. "But what's his motivation? What reason does Iago give for destroying his superior officer?" She looked around the room waiting for the answer. She ignored the drooling faces of the teenage boys gawking at her with lusty eyes. "No one? 'Cassio has my place…" She began to read.

"'… Twixt my sheets he's done my office…'"

All of the eyes went the mysterious dark man standing in the doorway leaning against it.

Buffy spun around in utter surprise to see Angel standing there. She forced herself not to look down past his face to see just how the suit he wore fitted his muscular body.

"What are you doing here?" She asked trying to keep her voice even.

Angel smirked smugly and responded, "I think the answer you're looking for, Ms. Summers is Othello was passed over for promotion and Cassio was chosen instead. Tsk, tsk, a man should be more careful if he's going to sleep with another man's wife."

The girls in the classroom giggled girlishly watching the ungodly handsome man enter the classroom.

"I had to see you, Ms. Summers." He smiled running his eyes up and down her petite figure completely turned on.

"I'm a little busy." She raised a brow.

Angel glanced around the classroom and winked at a set of girls staring at him with huge eyes. "I see that. No worries, I'll wait." Angel moved around Buffy taking a whiff of her hair and he went around her desk and sat.

Buffy glared at him then focused her mind back to her class. "Um… uh… Right. Uh… Iago sort of admits to himself that his motive are spurious, he just does things because he enjoys them. Well it's almost like he's not a person," Buffy sat down on a stool holding the closed book in her hands. She could feel Angel's intense eyes watching her every move, watching her take every breath. "He's a force of nature. The dark half of Othello himself, Othello's fear and rage sort of embodied."

Angel's eyes lingered on her face watching her speak. "Doesn't that also explain Othello's readiness to believe Iago?" Buffy asked.

A young girl raised her hand.

"Yes, Vi?"

"But wasn't it within seconds Iago turned on Desdemona because she's unfaithful?"

Buffy nodded her head and stood pacing back and forth again. "Yes. Aren't we all kind of like that? We all have little internal Iago's telling us our husbands or our girlfriends or whatever don't really love us. We can never see what's in their hearts. We doubt. We worry." She stopped meeting Angel's eyes when the bell rang tearing her away. "No homework except keeping working on those research papers. See you Monday. Have a good weekend." Buffy said as the classes walked out of the room.

"Have a good weekend, Ms. Summers." A beautiful girl grinned at the English teacher. "Oh, I **love** your shoes. You're like the only teacher in this place with any true fashion sense."

Buffy smiled at the girl, "Thank you, Katherine." she said politely to the valley girl wondering if she was ever that vapid when she was a teenager. Yes, she was. Even more so it sickened her.

Buffy released a heavy breath and faced Angel who now stood behind her almost touching her. "What are you doing here?"

Angel did not respond cupping her cheek and crushed his mouth against hers. Buffy stumbled backwards against the chalkboard. Her hands moved up his arms and around his neck digging her fingers into his hair. Angel's mouth broke away from hers and made an imaginary pathway down her neck.

"No. Angel. No." She said. "You can't."

Angel looked up at her with disappointment. "I can assure I can and I will."

"No. This is my work. This is my job. What if somebody comes in? No. What are you even doing here?"

"I needed to see you. God, Buffy I can't get you out of my mind. I can't stop thinking about you. Last night… Last night was amazing. You're amazing." He cupped her cheek with his hand, "I've never felt this way about anyone before. You make me feeling things I never thought I could."

Buffy shook her head, "No. You can't. Stop feeling things." she demanded only to have Angel chuckle at her. "No. You're leaving in two days. I can't - we can't. No."

"Buffy…"

"My answer is no, Angel."

Angel had never been told 'no' before. He was like a thousand knives stabbing into his body, normally he would have lashed out in a fit of rage and force his enemy to submit in fear but he couldn't. Not with this woman. Not with Buffy. Was too pure and innocent. She was bright light that lit his world.

 **God, O'Connor you're sounding like a fucking romance novel**. He scolded himself. **She's just a girl. Deposable. Just like all the others. Only she's not like all the others. She's Buffy. She's perfect.**

Angel nodded his head much to his own surprise, "If we let something happen here again… We'd want more. And, nothing's changed. I'm leaving for New York in a few days and you live here. If we do what we did again then… It would end up with us just breaking up and start missing each other that would eventually turn into hate and resentment."

"And that's the best case scenario." Buffy said staring at his lips.

Angel closed the space between them suddenly in a searing and passionate kiss. His arms wrapped around her thin waist. She drew him closer pressing her body against his and burying her fingers into his spiky dark hair. Her tongue slid across his lips asking for entry. Angel gladly welcomed her. Angel's hands slid down her body to the backs of her thighs and lifted her off of the ground. Buffy's legs instinctively wrapped around him and her ankles locked together. Angel snuck his hands under her long sundress feeling her smooth thighs.

He broke the kiss looking down at her swollen heart shaped lips and bit her bottom lip.

"The supply closet… Go into the supply closet." She whispered against his mouth.

Angel frowned and turned his head seeing the supply closet filled with unit books and papers in the back of the classroom. With four long strides they were inside the closet and he kicked the door closed with the heel of his designer shoe.

Buffy wasted no time in reaching down between them and unfasten his dress pants. Angel kissed her soundly again as he reached down inside of his pants and pulled out his throbbing cock.

He moved his head to her neck laying his head on her shoulder when he entered her with a single smooth thrust. Buffy moaned and hugged his shoulders.

Angel's hands held her bottom steady as he rocked into her controlling his inner desire to take her and take her forever. He drew his head back watching her face. Buffy opened her eyes and touched his face with her hands. "Angel…" Her breathless voice was jagged feeling the rising passion building inside of her quickly and fearlessly.


	4. Chapter 4

**New York City, New York**

 **Morissette & Phair LLC**

 **2005**

Liam glared at his wife unable to wrap his mind around a persistently unanswered question. He leaned forward in his chair ignoring the arguing lawyers.

"Why did you come with me?" He asked her.

Buffy looked up from the documents she was pretending to read. "What?"

"Why did you come with me?"

She did not respond for a long time thinking of a response that would satisfy the other twenty questions he had bouncing in his head as followups. "Because I was in love with you."

 **Sunnydale, California**

 **Red Castle Apartments**

 **2000**

Angel stepped out from his 1967 Plymouth GTX as one of his men took his place and another opened passengers side door for Buffy to come out of the car.

Buffy looked up at the large and luxurious apartment complex. Angel held to his arm for her take and led her inside.

Buffy watched as one of Angel's security men pushed the elevator button.

When the doors opened, Buffy entered the elevator and turned to find, Angel had not followed her. He faced his head security man and whispered, "Hold my appointments." he then stepped into the elevator.

* * *

The elevator doors opened to a large industrial looking apartment, it was not what Buffy had expected from the sophisticated man she was having very strong and tingly feelings for.

Angel turned flicked on a lamp that dimly lit the apartment. He stood straight watching Buffy moved further into the apartment looking at the fine paintings hanging on the walls. She wondered what his actual home looked like. She imagined it was decorated Victorian Gothic Era that seemed very much like Angel.

"Can I take your coat?" He asked slowly helping her out of the long peacoat. His fingers grazed down her long skirted hips. He leaned forward and smelt her lavender scented hair. "I'll give you the grand tour."

Buffy turned her head and watched him move around her gesturing to the rooms and ended showing her the kitchen.

Buffy took a seat on the stool at the counter island and watched Angel move around the kitchen taking out two modest sized pots. "You cook?"

Angel faced her with a small smile dancing on his lips. "What? You thought I was only good for sex?" He teased her.

"Among other things." She fired back biting her bottom lip enticing him.

"I'm not much of a cook. I normally have someone else cook or order take out." He said over his shoulder as he searched for supplies. "Shit."

"What is it?" Buffy frowned.

Angel turned looking shockingly angry.

"Angel?"

"I don't have any food." Angel took out his cellphone and dialled a number. "I thought I told you I wanted supplies for this evening Fred!"

Buffy couldn't believe the anger in his voice as he barked on the phone. She slid off of the stool and took the cellphone from his hand. Angel glared at her flabbergasted at her boldness.

"Um, Fred?" Buffy spoke into the phone and listened the quiet voice of frightened woman on the other line. "Hi. Don't worry about anything. It's okay. You did nothing wrong. Have a good night." Buffy hung up the cellphone and placed it on the counter.

"You shouldn't've done that."

Buffy looked up at him with a brow raised, "Why? You're going to get irrationally angry at me, too?" she moved to stand in front of him and wrapped her hands around his neck. "Hey." She cupped his face forcing him to look at her. "We'll order take out. I know the best Chinese place in Sunnydale. So relax." Buffy pressed her mouth against his.

"Okay." Angel ran his hands down her body. "That sounds good."

Buffy smiled against his mouth then unhooked herself from him moving to her purse on the couch. She went through her phone contacts and pressed the Chinese restaurants number.

"What do you want?" She asked quickly.

"Whatever's good." Angel's smile sent a shiver down Buffy's body. He slowly walked across the apartment unbuttoning some of the buttons of his shirt.

Buffy licked her lips. "Um, hi. Can I get two orders of lo mein and two egg - egg rolls." Her mouth went dry when he shrugged off his shirt and dropped it to the floor. "The - the - the address is… um - um-"

Angel reached her and ran his hands down her slim body to the hem of her blouse sleeveless top. "Red Castle Apartments. Apartment number seven-forty-six." He whispered.

"Yea - Did you c-c-catch that?" Buffy squeezed her eyes closed as his mouth created a pathway down her neck and between her breasts. "Fifteen to - to twenty minutes." Buffy repeated trying desperately to focus on anything other then Angel's seductive hands moving all over her and his mouth nipping at her skin. "Okay. Bye." Buffy dropped the cellphone onto the couch and wrapped her hands around Angel's neck capturing his mouth a fiery kiss that made her toes curl in her mule sandals.

"Ang - Angel, we don't have-"

"Shh…" He looked at her and unclipped the barrette that held the front strands of her long hair. "You know I love this hair. The way it bounces and smells…" Angel ran his hands through her curls. "You're so beautiful, Buffy."

Buffy's eyes raised to his seeing something she did not expect to see in those chocolate brown eyes of his. Love.

 **New York City, New York**

 **Morissette & Phair LLC**

 **2005**

"Buf, you can stop right there 'cause you're not getting full custody." Liam held up his hand standing at the large window of the conference room.

"You're so thick headed and stupid, Angel. What kind of life can you honestly offer our son while you're murdering everyone insight all the time." Liam smirked at her that instantly irritated Buffy. "What?"

"You haven't called me Angel in a while. I do love the breathless way you say it. Really turns me on."

Buffy raised a brow, "Do you love the breathless way I call you a 'Pig', too?"

Liam spun around and got into her face angrily. "Watch your mouth!"

"Or what?" She glared. "I'm not afraid of you. I think, I'm honestly the only person in your life who isn't afraid of you."

Liam took a deep breath knowing the truth of her words. She was right, Buffy was only person in his life maybe except for their son who was not afraid of him. He loved that about her. She stood up to him and gave him a reality check which happened often.

Buffy looked at him, her cross expression softened as she calmed down. "You and I both know that it's the right thing to do. You can't give him a normal life outside of blood shed and backdoor deals." She watched him consider her suggestion carefully. Liam was a very smart man, as in, off the charts smart and usually came with pigheadedness. "You can still visit him."

Liam's eyes snapped to her face. "No. No. I'm not travelling across the fucking country so I can play ball with my son!"

Buffy released a frustrated breath. "You don't play ball with your son anyway!"

"Then stay in New York."

"No."

"Buffy!" His annoyance level was off the charts as she refused his compromise.

"Um, excuse me." Liam's lawyer cautiously spoke up.

Buffy and Liam turned their heads. " **WHAT?!** " They said in unison.

"What about shared custody?" The lawyer suggested carefully.

"No." Liam said immediately then looked at his wife. "Either I get full custody or you and Connor come home."

Buffy shook her head, "We are not going back there."

"Then no custody."


	5. Chapter 5

**Sunnydale, California**

 **Red Castle Apartments**

 **2000**

Two long and perfect days had passed since a dark and mysteriously sexy man approached Buffy at a coffee shop on Main Street. During their short time together, Buffy found herself falling for this man and she was falling for him, hard. Like, tripped down a flight of stairs and landed on my back hard.

Out of breath, sweaty, and tangled in each other's arms, Buffy and Angel laid side by side in the large king sized bed staring up at the ceiling reeling from their passionate love making. Angel turned his head with a small smile and watched Buffy's chest rose up and down. He leaned forward and licked the beaded sweat that slipped down her neck and followed the trail down between naked breasts.

His cock hardened listening to her moan. Angel drew back his head and looked up at her. Her eyes were closed and her well kissed lips were parted slightly. The longer he stared at her, the more infatuated he became.

He leaned forward and took her mouth again addicted to her taste of something sweet and bitter coffee.

The tingling warmth he felt for her was something he had never experienced in his life. With all of his power and money, he tossed women away like breath mints. He never felt a thing for them except minimal satisfaction that lasted for thirty seconds or less.

Angel cupped her cheek unable to rid of the thoughts of having to leave this woman tomorrow. He caressed the side of her face. His heart jumped three beats when her eyes opened and bore into his. She smiled softly at him though she felt the same devastation of reality slowly apporaching.

"What is it?" She asked needing something to distract herself from her thoughts.

"Nothing." He shook his head and kissed her mouth.

Buffy narrowed her eyes on his handsome face and brushed her fingers into his damp hair. "No, tell me."

"You." He smiled.

Buffy traced her fingers over his lips, "I know the feeling." she kissed him.

Angel's mouth did not stop at her lips. They trailed down her jaw, to her neck. He nipped her collarbone then laid his head down on her breast listening to the steady beat of her heart.

They laid in silence, wrapped in each other's arms wanting nothing more than to lay here forever and ever. To rid every responsibility they have and be together.

"Come with me." Angel said suddenly breaking the silence between them.

Buffy opened her eyes thinking she had heard things. "What?"

Angel picked up his head and looked at her, "Come with me." he repeated.

Buffy raised a brow more than confused. "I - I can't go with you. I can't go to New York. Angel-"

"Why not?"

"Well, for one, my job is here."

"You can certainly get a job at a high school in New York." Angel smirked. "That's not a problem. "What else?"

Buffy thought for a moment, "My friends are in Sunnydale."

"I have plenty of friends for the both of us."

Buffy gave him an unamused eye roll.

Angel laughed and kissed her cheek. "What else?"

"My family. Angel, I just can't pick up and leave everything behind for a boy."

His face widened with hilarity. "A boy?!"

"Yes, a boy. You're a boy."

Angel cupped her face and turned it to him. "Buffy…" He leaned forward and nuzzled her nose with his own and kissed her heart shaped lips. "Come with me." He whispered into her ear.

"No."

"Buffy…"

"No."

Angel sensed her hard exterior begin to fold as his lips brushed across her neck and blunt teeth nipped her chin. "Buffy…" He looked at her when she did not respond. "I can make you so happy."

Buffy looked at him with a weary expression like she was about to burst out into tears. "I'm scared." She admitted.

"I know. I am, too."

"Then why do you want this? Why would you want me? Look at you, you can have anyone you want. Why me?"

Angel considered her question and pushed her hair behind ear. "That day in the coffee shop. You were laughing with your friend-"

"Willow."

"Right, Willow." He smirked. "I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life, I wanted to keep it safe, to warm it with my own."

Buffy looked at him and combed her fingers through his hair. "That's beautiful. Or taken literally, incredibly gross."

Angel frowned, "I was just thinking that too…"

They shared a smile.

Angel shifted to her side keeping her close against his body. "I'm in love with you, Buffy." His words shocked her. "I know it's soon… but, Buffy, I gotta tell yea, I've never felt this way for anyone in my life. You're like coming up for fresh air. I was drowning and you saved me."

Buffy was lost for words unable to control her scrabbling mind in forming a single coherent thought. All she could do was stare at the man in her arms.

"Come with me." He said again.

She stared into his eyes searching for something, anything to tell her that he had doubts. She couldn't find a thing. The only thing she saw in his dark brown eyes was love for her.

"Okay." Her voice was hardly above a whisper and Angel almost missed it.

"Yeah?" He looked at her with hopefulness.

Buffy slowly nodded her head coming to a solid decision. "Yeah. I'll come with you."

Angel grinned and rolled over back over her kissing her mouth with excited happiness. Buffy wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and opened her legs up for him. He settled his hips between them comfortably. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers. "We're going to be so happy, Buffy. So happy."

Buffy hugged him truly believing his vow to her and she knew he believed in it too. They were going to be so happy.

 **New York City, New York**

 **Morissette & Phair LLC**

 **2005**

Buffy and Liam sat across from each other in stubborn silence glaring. Liam ran his eyes over her angered beautiful face to her folded arms keeping a firm stance on what she wanted. He knew his wife well, she was, like, him. She will fight tooth and nail to get what she wanted. Once her mind was set on something, there was no changing it. It was a done deal.


	6. Chapter 6

**New York City, New York**

 **Morissette & Phair LLC**

 **2005**

The lawyer excused themselves from the conference room to discuss further custody options during their lunch at Liam's request. He stole a glance at his wife who sat in silence hating him but all of that washed away when a excited little brown haired boy ran into the room with his arms stretched out above his head and a large wild grin painted across his lips.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Connor hopped up and down for either of his parents to pick him up.

Liam was the first to reach him. He bent down and scooped the child from the floor and spun him around. "How's my guy?"

"Good!" Connor smiled then turned his head to his mother. "Can we go home now?"

His small little voice tore Buffy's heart into pieces. "No, baby. Mommy and Daddy are having a grown up talk."

"Are you sad, Mommy?"

Buffy gave her four year old a sad smile and shook her head. "No. Mommy's not sad." She was heartbroken is what she really wanted to say but did not.

"No more crying?" Connor asked.

Liam shot Buffy an angered glare. "Crying? You've been crying?"

Connor shook his head. "No! Not me! Mommy! She's sad. Mommy cries at bedtime."

Liam shifted his eyes to Buffy's face seeing her crumble with embarrassment. He didn't think she felt anything for him anymore. At least that's what she said in the heat of their arguments.

"Buffy…"

Buffy looked at him and shook her head, "No, Angel. No. We want out of this life."

"What about me?" He took step forward with Connor still in his arms. "What about us?"

"What about us? You said, you, me, and Connor were done - finished with this life. That you were going to start your law practice. You are so **not** done with this stupid life that you can't even see the danger you're putting your child in."

The anger and frustration this woman caused him was infuriating. "What the hell do you want me to do, Buffy?! I'm so stuck in this, that I can't get out. Not now. The only way I could is if I died!"

Connor burst out into tears hearing his parents ruthlessly argue.

Buffy glared at her husband and took her son from his arms. "Shh… It's alright. It's alright. Everything is alright." Buffy cooed holding the child tightly in her arms. "Mommy and Daddy are just fine." She brushed her fingers into his hair and kissed his forehead. "We love you, baby."

" **FRED!** " Liam angrily called out to his secretary. "Take Connor out of here. **NOW**." He ordered.

Fred crossed the conference room and carefully took Connor from Buffy's arms and then quickly walked out with the crying boy.

"What is wrong with you! He needs us!"

"He's fine. He needs to grow up a little. Mommy can't hold him like a baby forever."

Buffy rolled her eyes with a scoff. "For crying out loud, he's four!" Buffy took a deep calming breath gathering her composure. She lifted her chin up giving a sad and defeated expression. "I can't do this anymore, Angel. I can't keep worrying about you because that's all I do. All the time I worry. I spend every minute worrying that there's gonna be a knock at the door and two cops are going to be on the other side of it telling me that you were arrested or worse. Or that one of your enemies are going to kill us in our sleep or they're going to take Connor away. I can't keep doing this, Angel! I just can't! As a mother, my job is to protect my child for as long as I can. And I'm doing it. I'm protecting him."

"By taking him away from his father?"

" **NO!** " Buffy yelled out with frustration. "Good lord, are you that thick headed?! I want you in our lives! I don't want to go! But I can't be here anymore and neither can Connor."

"I can't just leave, Buffy. I'm the leader of a-"

"Mafia, I know. It's all in the family. There is something you can do, Angel. Pass it on to someone else. Pass it on to your cousin, Doyle or Wesley or Lindsey for all I care. Just walk away."

Liam stared at her wanting so desperately to do as she says and walk away from it all. The death, the greed, the crime. He wanted to be with the woman he loves so much and a son he couldn't get enough of. He knew she was right. He knew everything she's doing is for the well being of their son. He knew that. But he couldn't. He wasn't ready.

"I can't, Buffy. I'm so sorry." Liam really was sorry. He hated himself that he couldn't just give up everything for her like he always thought he could.

Buffy's heart sank into the pit of her stomach. "Then I want a divorce and full custody."


	7. Chapter 7

**New York City, New York**

 **Manhattan Mansion**

 **2001**

"He's gonna take his first steps… any minute." Angel crouched down pointing a video camera at his fourteen month old son. "I can feel it."

Buffy looked up over Connor's head and rolled her eyes. "He's not gonna do it on cue."

Angel waved his hand at her and grinned at his son, "He's gonna surprise us, right?" Buffy stood him up onto his tiny feet holding his little hands. "Oh!" Angel readied himself. "Okay, here we go! C'mon, Con, come to daddy!" He danced a stuffed teddy bear in front of the camera.

Buffy unlatched her hands from his and watched Connor wobbled for a moment then fell back onto his diaper cushioned bottom. "He's gonna take his steps in daycare while I'm teaching young minds and you're doing whatever you do."

Angel tilted his head to the side wearing an unamused expression, "Buffy, I **do** things. I'm a millionaire business man."

"Still doesn't tell me a thing."

"C'mon, Con. Come to daddy, come to daddy…" He held out his arms. Buffy smiled and passed him the toddler. Angel held the gargling child high over his head and kissed his nose. "Daddy's little man!"

Buffy watched them with a dreamy smile. "He's perfect."

"He sure is. He looks just like his mommy." He looked at her and smiled.

Buffy crawled on her knees across the short distance between her new husband and son. Angel opened his arm out for her. Buffy rested her head down shoulder watching Connor grin and look up and around taking in his surroundings.

"I don't know how to do this."

Buffy tilted her chin up looking at his face, "Do what?"

"Go to work every day knowing I would have to leave my perfect child and my perfect wife."

"We could just quit everything and runaway to Disney World or something."

Angel smiled at the idea and kissed the top of her head. "That sounds like a good idea." He placed Connor down on the floor.

Connor crawled away finding the teddy bear and bit it into his mouth. Angel smirked then turned his attention back to the woman in his arms. He dipped his head down and captured her mouth in tender and loving kiss.

"Mmm… sweetie, you have to go to work and teach young minds." Angel said between then kisses making no move to break away from her.

"Right…" Buffy shifted onto her knees and deepened the kiss combing her fingers into his brown hair.

Angel smiled against her mouth, "Buffy…" he said when she broke away from him unexpectedly. "Buffy?"

"Angel, get the camera." She said staring wide eyed at their son standing on his two feet holding the teddy bear by its leg. "Oh, Angel!" She said.

Connor smiled and took two uneasy steps.

"He's walking!" Angel reached for the camera and struggled with it. "Turn on faster!" He scolded the camera.

Buffy sat up on her knees holding out her arms catching her son in her arms when he tripped. "Hi, baby! Hi!" Buffy laughed holding him against her chest.

"Oh, I missed it!" Angel fell back into the armchair behind him spent and disappointed.

"Good boy!"

 **New York City, New York**

 **Morissette & Phair LLC**

 **2005**

Liam listened with disinterest as his and Buffy's lawyer argued for a custody solution. He glanced over at his wife and saw she was as bored as he was.

Buffy stood from the chair needing to stretch her legs and went to large window to clear her head from the never ending argument. She resented Liam a little for refusing to end the day and pick it up again tomorrow. Like always, when Liam wanted something, he got it. No questions asked.

Buffy wrapped her arms around her thin body looking down to the tiny people-ants walking down in the city below. She knew he was standing behind her. Not only could she smell his musky cologne that was distinctly Liam, but his warmth from his body radiate off of him.

"I can't remember our last kiss." Buffy admitted softly. "I want to. But all I can think about is my anger towards you for doing this to our family. Which is pathetic, but I can't remember the last time you, me, and Connor were together and we were happy. I can't remember our last kiss."

Liam stood closely behind her smelling the familiar scent of her hair that drove him wild. "It was a Tuesday morning." Liam began. "You were wearing purple sleeveless blouse, that you look so good in. You'd just washed your hair and it smelt like lavender. You were running around trying to get Connor ready for daycare. You were running late for school. You said, you were going to see me later, and you leaned to me, you ran your hands up my chest and into my hair and you kissed me. It was soft, quick, and mindless. Kind of like a habit. Then you turned away from me and changed Connor's diaper and I fixed my tie and went to work." Buffy slowly turned to him and looked up at him under long black lashes. "That was the last time we kissed."

Buffy stared at him wanting nothing more than to fall into his arms like she's always done for the last five years and kiss his perfect mouth. She missed him so much it ripped her insides into pieces. "Please stop looking at me like that."


	8. Chapter 8

**New York City, New York**

 **Manhattan Mansion**

 **2003**

"Why did you keep this from me?" Buffy asked standing at the head of the large, rarely used kitchen table. It was ironically the only **really** private area of their large home. Angel's people were always everywhere. Most of them didn't know where the kitchen was.

Angel sighed heavily, he knew this day would one day come but he hoped he was long out of this life when she found out. "I wanted to avoid this."

"You're a mafia boss. Oh my God, you're Michael Corleone."

"I'm not Michael Corleone."

Buffy sat down at the table reeling from the information. "I - Your - I married a mobster?" Buffy looked at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Angel did not respond.

"I - I have to go."

"W-what? Why?" Angel watched at Buffy stood up on her feet and moved around the kitchen toward the door.

"I'm taking Connor and we're leaving."

Angel's eyes widened and caught up to her wrapping his hand around her arm stopping her. "No! Buffy, no. You can't go."

"We can't stay here anymore, Angel. It's too dangerous and I… I can't trust you. You lied to me for three years. Three years. Why didn't you just-"

"I couldn't lose you! Because I wanted you so badly, I wanted to take you as my wife and have a family and have the whole American-dream life. And I know it would have cost me everything I never knew I wanted, if I told you the truth. I'm weak. I've never been anything else. But the one thing I had never lied to you about was my love for you. I love you so much. I know, out there, I'm a demon. I'm cruel and manipulative but never with you. You make me want to be good. I'm trying so hard to do the right thing and be the kind of man you and our son deserve."

Buffy stared at his handsome face. For a moment she felt the purity of his words but it was only for a moment. "Then why are we still here?"

"Please, Buffy, please, give me a chance to do the right thing. Don't leave me." Angel rested his forehead against hers and nuzzled her nose. "Please don't leave me… don't leave me… don't leave me…" He whispered feeling a rush of unexplored emotions. "Please, Buffy… don't leave me."

Buffy cupped his face and kissed his mouth that became hungry and desperate. Angel wrapped his arms around her body and pressed her back into the wall. He turned them lifting her off of the ground slightly and went to the table laying her down on top of it. Buffy's hands slid down from the back of his neck to his chest and unbuttoned his dark button-up shirt needing to feel his warm muscular chest under her palms. Angel's mouth trailed down from her mouth to her throat and sucked on her skin. Buffy gasped sharply with pleasure.

 **New York City, New York**

 **Morissette & Phair LLC**

 **2005**

Buffy snapped out from her thoughts remembering the day she found out about her husband's double life. She should have left the first time but she didn't because she really believed him. She really loves this man. **Loved this man** , Buffy reminded herself.

"What about the accounts?" Buffy's lawyer asked looking from Liam's lawyer to Liam himself. He nervously followed the mafia man's intent glare that was directed at Buffy. It never seised to amaze the lawyers that Buffy didn't falter under the hard and withering stare, in fact, she didn't even seem to notice it. "M-Mr. O'Connor, what about-"

"Half." He said never removing his eyes from Buffy's face. "Give her half."

Buffy lifted her eyes to his and shook her head, "No. I don't want it."

"You're going to take it."

"I don't want it. I don't need it."

"Please, don't give me, 'I have a job' bullshit, Buffy. Teachers make shit. Let me give you something goddamn it!"

Buffy glared at him, "I don't want it!"

" **TAKE IT!** "

" **NO!** "

" **BUFFY!** "

Buffy shook her head infuriated.

" **LEAVE THE ROOM.** " Liam commanded angrily to the two lawyers.

The lawyers stood from their chairs and scampered off in a fright.

* * *

The splitting couple sat in silence for a long, uncomfortable moment. Buffy avoided his face though she felt his intense stare. Her eyes shot up to his, "Stop looking at me like that."

"I'm not looking at you." Liam crossed his arms over his chest never moving his eyes off of her beautiful and irritated face.

"You are looking at me! It's annoying and creepy. Stop it!"

Liam smirked, "Buffy-"

"No. You look at me and you watch me and I can't breathe with you looking at me! So stop!"

Liam slammed his fists down onto the wooden table surprising her. "Damn it, Buffy!" He jumped up to his feet and kicked back the chair in to the wall. He paced back and forth for a moment then leaned over the table to her. "Do you think I want to look at you? Do you think I want to look at someone who **hates** me? I love you! And for someone like me, that doesn't happen too often. As in **NEVER**! I'm not meant to be happy, Buffy! And you made me happy, goddamn it! You made me feel things! You and Connor. You two are all I ever wanted!"

"Then leave!"

"Don't you think I want to?!" He pounded his fists onto the table rattling it. "I can't! I'm stuck!"

Buffy shook her head, "You're not. There is always a choice. You have the power to do real good, Angel, to make amends. But if you stay in this life, regardless of what happens with us, then all you ever were was a monster."

"You think this is simple? You think there's an answer? That **anyone** could take over this business? That I could push all of the evil I've ever done in my life into the past and just move on? You can never understand what I've done, Buffy!"

"Then let me go!"

Liam slammed his hands down on the table shocking Buffy. " **NO!** "


	9. Chapter 9

**New York City, New York**

 **Central Park**

 **2004**

It had been a year since Angel told her about secret life as the head organiser of the Irish-American mafia in New York City. As the year went on, it became more apparent that her husband was one of the most powerful people in the country, let alone in the city. Her eyes opened to the backdoor deals with double crossing feds and people she met one day are never seen again.

Buffy sat on the edge of a sandbox watching her three year old bury his hands deep into the soft sand. She smiled as he filled the bucket that was settled between his legs.

A dark shadow casted over her.

Buffy looked up to see her husband wearing a small smile watching Connor play. He sat down beside Buffy and circled an arm around her shoulders. Buffy laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes feeling his lips press against her head.

These were the moments that reminded Buffy of why she stayed. The moments that it was just her, Angel, and Connor enjoying a beautiful day at the park.

"I love you." He whispered against her hair.

Buffy looked up at him and warmly smiled, "I love you, too." she leaned forward and kissed his mouth gently wanting this moment to last forever and ever.

"Boss." Lindsey's voice shattered the peaceful moment between the couple.

Angel looked up at his right hand man and frowned with displeasure.

"Foley is on the phone from Boston." He said holding out the cellphone for Angel to take.

Angel looked at Buffy apologetically and stood from the sandbox taking the cellphone. "Foley, what do you want?" He walked toward the trees for privacy.

Lindsey looked down at Buffy and gave her a small nod and left her and Connor alone.

Buffy turned her head watching Angel talk on the phone leaning against the tree.

Something in the distance took her attention. She had seen the dark coloured van times before but never gave any thought. Well, that was before she learned of her husband's secret life.

She watched the van door slide open and three men leapt out and hid behind the trees coming closer and closer to them. She frowned finding it suspicious until it became clear who these men were aiming for.

"Angel! Watch out!" Buffy cried out and grabbed Connor covering his body with her own as gunfire blazed over their heads.

Angel drew out his gun and shot at the enemies firing at him.

 **New York City, New York**

 **Morissette & Phair LLC**

 **2005**

Liam stood at the large window with his hands behind his back and faced Buffy sitting in the chair staring at the rings around her left hand ring finger. It gave him a sense of hope that she had yet to take off her rings, despite of their months of separation.

"We're never going on agree this are we?" She asked deep in thought staring at her rings.

Liam frowned, "Agree on what? My Godfather lifestyle or custody?"

Buffy looked Liam. She appeared emotionally spent.

"I want to figure it out, Buffy." Liam moved from the window to her. He sat down in the chair beside her and reached out for her hands. "I really do. I want to figure out a way that we can be together. Tell me how you feel. Please, don't shut me out. Talk to me."

Buffy withdrew her hands and shook her head. "No. I'm gonna say things that I'll only regret later…" She stared at his handsome face for a long while searching for the courage and words to say to this stubborn, ill-tempered man.

"Please, Buffy, just say it. Whatever it is. I can accept the consequences.."

"Angel, you have never accepted a consequence in your life." Buffy scoffed at the mere thought that he was all 'holier than thou' when in actuality, there was nothing holy about this man. Perhaps, except for the nickname she gave him when they met. "Since the moment I filed for divorce you haven't suffered one bit. You probably have the tramp-of-the-week in your bed waiting for you right now. I wonder who it is… Let me think… Darla, Cordelia, or Drusilla. Which whore is my husband fucking? Hmm...?" Buffy tapped her chin.

"I've never laid a hand on another woman - never even **looked** at another woman since we've been together. I was always faithful to you. And I've suffered, Buffy. I lost my child and my wife. I've sure as hell suffered."

Buffy's frown deepened. She shot up from the chair and paced back and forth with her arms folded across her chest. "That's because you do things. You're just a stubborn man who barks and stomps and bangs until submission. You use intimidation to get what you want. You say that you suffered and you're sorry for yourself. Then **do** something about it. Because obviously you haven't suffered enough because a **sane** man would have done everything - **anything** to get their family back."

"Is that what you see in me? A monster?"

"No. No, I see an infuriating man who is not fighting hard enough."

Liam stared at her taken back by her words.

"Then why did you stay for so long?" He found his voice. His eyes raised from the floor to her face.

Buffy spun around, "Because I love you! Because I meant that! Loving you meant something to me! I promised you in our vows that I would love you."

"Even when you hate me…"

"Even when I hate you!"

"Good! Because I love you, too!"

Buffy took a calming breath. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. "I tired, Angel. God knows how hard I tried but too much happened. Too many terrible things happened and I… I understand. You don't know any other kind of life. You're so used to taking whatever it was that you wanted no matter the consequence but soon, Angel, your luck is going to run out. You're going to find yourself alone in a dark room with no one except your 'loyal' whatever's and Lindsey. I know all of this is to protect us and… that's what I love about you."

"And what you hate about me."

Buffy gave him a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I hate it. I hate that it's so hard… and that you can hurt me so much. Y - you say, you're fighting for us? Fighting is hard and painful and it's every day. It's what we have to do and we can do it together, but if you're too much of a coward for that then you deserve what is going to eventually come to you."


	10. Chapter 10

**New York City, New York**

 **Manhattan Mansion**

 **2005**

 **(Several Months Earlier)**

Angel ran down the long stairway following his wife as she gathered her and Connor's possessions. "Buffy, wait!" He called out to her as he went after her.

"No, Angel, no."

"What do you mean, 'no'?" He frowned fearing the worst.

Buffy spun around to him fuming. "Never again, Angel! I am **never, ever again** putting **my** child in danger again! You're not good for him!" Buffy bent down collecting the essential toys that she knew were Connor's favourites.

"Buffy, I'm sorry, baby, I'll change. I promise."

Buffy rolled her eyes and moved past him. "When? When you're incarcerated or when you're dead? What's it gonna be?! What am I going to come home to one day?!"

"That will never happen, Buffy!"

Buffy twirled back to him, "You don't know that! Everyday it's something. Everyday there's a crisis. Everyday someone, whoever it maybe is getting closer and closer to murdering us in our sleep because you're a fucking mafia leader! You are **consciously** putting me and our child in danger. So we're leaving. Me and Connor are leaving."

Angel reached out and wrapped his arms around her petite frame hugging her tightly. "No, no, please don't leave me! **Please**! God, Buffy, I love you so much. Don't leave."

Buffy looked up at him and cupped his face into her hands. "Then come with us. Let's get out of this city and start someplace new. Anywhere in the world. Let's just go."

Angel's chest ripped apart as he looked down to her hopeful expression. He shook his head, "I can't."

Her hopeful eyes glazed over with sadness. "Then we're leaving."

"You can't take him!"

"Watch me!" Buffy carried Connor's things in her arms and ran up the stairs then into the three and a half year olds bedroom packing his bags.

Angel stood in the doorway fuming with rage as he watched her move around the room. "Buffy, you can't take him. You don't have the-"

"The what? The 'Right'? Did you forget everything in law school. He's half mine. I have the ' **Right'** to take my son away from danger."

"What danger?!"

Buffy looked back at him, "This life! You might as well pin a target on Connor's t-shirt with a gun aimed at his head."

"This is inhuman." He growled.

Buffy laughed in his face, "Please. You wrote the book on inhuman. You're incapable of anything that resembles human. You lied to me. You manipulated me. You said that we were done and we were leaving this life. You promised. Well, three years, two shoot outs, one drive by, and a never ending stream of death threats. We're leaving. I'm taking Connor away from this toxic life."

"You can't."

"You're setting him up to be a sociopath!"

" **BUFFY!** " Angel threw a lamp across the room smashing it against the wall.

Buffy did not flinch. She didn't move a muscle. She dropped the bag and walked out of the bedroom. Angel turned to see her come out of another room.

She held out a thin packet in front of him.

Angel took them and read the headline. "These are divorce papers." His eyes shot up to his face. "Are you asking for a divorce?"

"If you're not going to come with us, then I'm **demanding** a divorce." She watched his jaw clench with anger. "It's your choice. It's very simple. This life or your family. Yes, I know the mafia life as a lot of perks. Money and power. But Angel… You say that you love me… in a really big… once in a lifetime, messy, drive you crazy, you're in my blood, I hate you so much I want to kill you love. So prove it. Be with us. Choose **us**."

Angel swallowed unable to argue with her. There was nothing he could say that she hasn't been told numerously before. She was right, he lied to her. He manipulated her into staying with him but how could he not. She is the love of his life. His everything.

"I'm exhausted. I can't do this anymore."

"You don't love me anymore?"

"I never said that. I think it's, I love you too much. So much so that if we never had the baby I probably wouldn't have said a word. I would stay. But that's not our life. We did have a baby and I can no longer be silent and endanger our child." Buffy bent down picking up Connor's suitcase and a backpack. "We're going to be staying at the Hotel Pennsylvania." Buffy went into the playroom and held out her hand. "Connor, honey, come on, baby."

Connor stood from his train table and happily skipped to Buffy grasping her hand. Buffy looped an arm around his tiny body and picked him up off of the floor.

Connor wrapped his tiny hands around Buffy's neck and touched her necklace.

"Say goodbye to Daddy."

"Bye, Daddy!" Connor grinned at his face.

Angel forced himself to shift his gaze from Buffy's unchanging face to Connor's. He stepped forward and ran a hand through child's short brown hair. "I love you, buddy." Angel gave him a slanted smile and kissed his forehead.

"I assume you'll be contacting Morissette & Phair LLC to work out splitting the assets..."

"Don't do this, Buffy." He begged her once more.

Buffy took a deep breath keeping her composure. "I told you where we'll be staying. Just forward me the meeting time and I'll work around my schedule to be there." She walked down the stairs heading to the front door.

Angel fought hard not to crumble to his knees begging for her forgiveness. "Please, Buffy… don't go."

"Then come with us." Buffy looked at him giving him one final chance to give her every promise he vowed to her when they married. Angel didn't move a muscle. She sadly nodded her head fixing her eyes on his face. She appeared eerily calm, "Then we can't stay here." Buffy turned to the door with her hand on the doorknob. She paused giving Angel falsified hope. She turned her head though she did not look at him. "I'm sorry, Liam." Her eyes moved to his face for one last time then she walked out of the luxurious home with a suitcase, a backpack, and a four year old on her hip. Her eyes were tear-filled but held a fragile strength.

Buffy turned and walked out of the home. Angel stepped to the door hearing Connor's excited voice talking her ear off. She looked at the driver in the front of the home and passed him her suitcase and backpack. She opened the door fixing Connor's carseat then slid into the car without ever looking back at Angel.

Angel couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't do a single thing except stand there letting her leave.

The car sped off into the traffic leaving the mobster hurt and alone.


	11. Chapter 11

**New York City, New York**

 **Morissette & Phair LLC**

 **2005**

Liam stood across the conference room and Buffy on the other side. A large space separated them still cooling off from their pervious argument.

"This isn't over." He said.

Buffy's head shot up to see him suddenly marching toward her and wrapped a hand to the back of her head and crashed his mouth against hers. The kiss they shared was hard, dangerous, angry, and filled with pent up passion and love. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck deepening the kiss; she opened her mouth wider welcoming his tongue.

Liam's hands smoothed down her body to her bottom. He gave it a squeeze then lifted her off of the ground. Buffy's legs went instinctively around his waist, locking her ankles securing her balance. Liam's hands crept up her blouse shirt that hugged her sides perfect. Her skin was warm against his fingers. He needed her like a junkie needed a fix.

Buffy's tiny hands smoothed up his black button-up shirt and into his hair scratching her fingernails down the back of his neck gently. Liam's mouth moved from her lips down her neck taking her familiar scent and savouring the taste of her skin.

Liam spun them around and swept an arm across the conference table tossing all of the stacked papers, laptops, a water vase, and glasses to the floor. He gingerly laid Buffy down on the table and sat back looking down at her.

 **My god, she is beautiful. So beautiful. My Buffy.** Liam hovered over her face leaning on his hands that were rested at the sides of her head.

Buffy raised a hand and caressed his clean-shaven face then began to unbutton his shirt. Liam leaned downward and captured her mouth in a searing and devouring kiss. His hands traveled up her legs underneath her long skirt as Buffy pushed off his shirt down his broad shoulders.

Liam broke away from her perfect mouth and crouched down slightly pulling down her flimsy panties then kissed the inside of her knee. He moaned when her fingers threaded into his hair drawing him back to her mouth. Liam took his time and kissed up her formfitting blouse lifting it higher and higher as he made his way back.

Buffy lifted her arms high over her head as Liam help her out of her blouse kissing the curves of her breasts. Her eyes fluttered closed lost in the pleasure of his mouth seducing her skin all over. Liam reached down and unbuttoned his pants and unzipped the zipper pulling out his throbbing cock.

Liam moved back up hovering over her. He dipped his head down pressed mouth against hers. Buffy's hands moved up his shoulders to the back of his neck keeping him close. She drew her knees up giving him better access. Buffy let out a moan that his mouth muffled when he entered her. His hands clenched around her hips as he rocked inside her.

"Ugh… Angel…" Buffy inhaled a sharp breath needing him closer.

Liam buried his face into her blonde tresses, engraving the lavender scent into his membrane. He lifted his head and locked his eyes with hers feeling her love. "I love you." He whispered.


	12. Chapter 12

**New York City, New York**

 **Morissette & Phair LLC**

 **2005**

Liam stood straight fastening his pants and watched Buffy straighten out her shirt and blouse. "So, what does this mean?" He asked.

Buffy ran her hands into her hair combing it off her face. "It means, I missed you."

"Buffy…" Liam looked at her not convinced. He stopped buttoning his shirt and placed his hands on his hips.

Buffy released a heavy breath and dropped her hands to her sides. "Uh… I don't know. I guess it means you have a choice. You have a choice to make, Angel. What do you want because you can't have it all. I can't give it to you. What do you want?"

Liam clenched his jaw as his mind race. He turned away from her and ran a hand through his hair when right then like a ton of bricks it hit him. Liam turned back around to Buffy and ran his eyes over her beautiful face. He memorised each freckle on her cheeks, the way the light shined in her eyes, the shape of her slightly parted lips.

Buffy slowly felt the hope she fought so hard not to fill her insides slowly deflate in her chest as the moment of pause stretched out into minutes.

"I…"

Buffy prepared herself for what he was going to say next. He was going to choose a dangerous and exciting life over his family.

 **Not very mafia-like**. Buffy frowned at the thought and inhaled a deep breath.

Liam slowly picked up his head. His hard and brooding expression softened, "I'm in love with you." He began. "I've been in love with you for… ever… The first time you gave me the choice, I chose wrong. I keep doing that because you're right. I can't have it all. It's not gonna be easy. Starting over. It's gonna be really hard; but you're worth the work." Liam smirked. "I know what I want - I've always known what I wanted. You, Buffy. I want you, all of you forever. When I look into the future, all I see is you. All I want is you and our son. I want my life to be with you. I chose us. I want us. I **need** us."

Buffy exhaled the breathe she had been holding in and stared at her husband with blurry teary eyes. A single tear fell down her cheek. Her mind raced with happiness and doubt. **Is he serious?**

Liam stepped towards her and reached out cupping her cheek with his hand. He brushed away her tear with the pad of his thumb. "Runaway with me." His forehead rested against hers feeling her hot breath against his face.

Buffy hesitantly placed her hands onto his chest then slid them up and around his neck. "Okay."

Liam's eyes flew open hoping to God his ears did not betray him. He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her slowly.

 **London, England**

 **Kensington Square**

 **2007**

The black 1967 Plymouth GTX pulled up against the curb. Angel turned the ignition off and stepped out of the car locking the door. He glanced down at the time on his watch and headed up the pathway to his beautiful home. He entered through the front door to hear silence.

Angel frowned and placed his briefcase down on a table next to the door. He cleared his throat and loosened his tie. "Buf?" He called out but heard no response.

He crossed the home into the living room to see toy cascaded around and the television on mute playing cartoons. Angel reached for the remote and turned off the television.

Sounds of laughter and squeals drew Angel to the back of the home to the green yard. He stood at the backdoor and smiled softly seeing Buffy sitting in the grass with their now, six year old son running around with a Batman mask and cape holding a Batman action figure in his hand. Angel laughed listening to Connor's self-made sound effects.

He opened the backdoor and stepped out onto the small porch to his wife. Angel knelt down behind her and ran his hands down her arms.

"Hey, baby." He whispered against her hair.

"Hey." Buffy laid her head back against his muscular chest.

Angel grinned peering over his wife's shoulder to the one year old toddler nestled between Buffy's legs playing with her toys. "Hello, my other baby." Angel kissed his daughter's forehead.

"How was work?" Buffy looked at him.

Angel smiled rolling up his dress shirt sleeves.

"What? What happened?" Buffy frowned when Angel grinned and leaned forward capturing her mouth in a tender kiss. Her eyes brightened and her smile matched his. "No!"

"I did it! Wolfram & Hart is now heading the biggest case in England's history since The Massacre on Baybrook Street."

Buffy grinned and cupped his cheek running it down his face gently and kissed his mouth.

Connor ran behind Angel and jumped onto his back locking his hands around his neck. Angel pretended to be mad as he stood searching for his son who was hanging on him. "Where's Batman? Where is he?" He joked then flipped the boy over his head and playfully roughed him up.

Connor jumped out from Angel's strong grasp and ran away. Angel sat back on the grass watching his son. His eyes went to his daughter then finally lingered on his wife. He made the best decision when he chose his family over his former life. Since then, the O'Connors jumped on the first flight out which happened to go to England. They kept a semi-low profile in London. Angel began his own law practice called, Wolfram & Hart. His firm took the world of law firms by storm making quite a name for itself as a hard, ruthless, and brilliant law firm that satisfied Angel's every need for power.

Buffy waited for her new and updated teaching certificate to come through to work in England's school systems but it took longer than she excepted. She did not mind so much as she enjoyed being around her children and husband constantly.

Angel sat back on his elbows utterly happy as he watched his small and still growing family. He didn't worry about the people he had left behind. He knew the 'family business' was in good and capable hands. To be honest, he rarely missed it. In fact, he couldn't understand his reluctance for not leaving sooner. As the years passed it became more apparent what exactly he was willing to throw away. For the life of him, he didn't understand why he would ever want anything else besides the gifts he was given from just being himself.

Buffy turned her head from the little girl in her arms playing with a toy and looked at her husband. Her brows pinched together with a slight confusion of his thoughtful expression. Angel caught her green eyes and gave her a smirk.

A slow smile twitched in the corners of her mouth that went upwards into small and warm smile. Her soft smile always made Angel's heart beat faster.

This was it. This is exactly where Angel wanted to be. There was nowhere else. 'Cause it's not worth it, if I ain't got you.

 **END.**

 **I hope you enjoyed it! Leave a Review (I value your thoughts!) and check out my new story called _Ballade No2. Op38!_ Peace & Love**


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